I hate being right.

Posted by racheal_storm on June 27, 2012 at 5:25 PM

So last nite I was attacked on a facebook site yet again. I can handle it even tho it does hurt.
Why was I attacked? Because I posted my opinion that differed from some others. (yet again)

The thread was about altering ones voice and for those who wish to, its a good thread. I actually have no problem with those who do wish to alter their voice and totally understand why one would want to. However to me I see it as being deceptive and false. A lie. I hate and loathe lies because when I came out, I was accussed of lying by those close to me. It cost me. I have never liked lying and when this happened it made my hatred of lying even more definite.

See the truth is I never lied but I did hide my feelings because I didnt understand them and needed to come to understand them. Its a small differance some would say but it was important to me. I didnt want to rock the boat when I didnt know what was rocking it. I needed to find out first.

The HRC report was called 'To be who I am'. While there is alot in the report I disagree with those words came to mean alot to me. I have stood up loud and proud for who and what I am. Im honest and dont lie. I wont seek to decieve anyone. So I wont and dont believe in MY trying to alter my voice in anyway to sound more feminine. My post was not an attack on anyone but merely my expressing my opinion.

I got attacked and told it was mean, that I should say sorry, that I should learn to listen.

Those who attacked need to learn to read and not read into what I write, to not be defensive, not try to restrict dicussion or supress people expressing their opinion.

One person commented 'just cause you dont have issues with your voice' where did I say that? I do have issues with my voice. I hate when people call me 'Sir' on the phone when I have introduced myself as Racheal; I hate being called 'Sir' when standing before someone in a short summer dress with long blond hair and stillettos. But I live with it and dont get all emotive and worked up over it. I politely point out their error. I have issues but I wont set about to decieve others. This same person started one post thus....

"I really shouldn't but it needs to be said." No you shouldn't have but you needed to try to bait me and did.

Another said I should say sorry and STFU. Why? I hadnt attacked anyone at all but merely stated my view. Then replied to the attacks. If no one had attacked me, I would not have responded again in the thread but some people like to stir or was it something else I have come to realise with all the anger that gets vented at me. This person accused my of 'bullying' but really needs to take a look at who was the 'bully' in reality.

Someone else commented....
"of course you're allowed your opinion. but learn to listen! we're here sharing resources, not telling you how to be." I was listening but were they? I never told anyone how to be. Was my opinion listened to? No, just twisted and emotively attacked.

Some people need to learn to say sorry and in this case that is to the thread Author and moderator. Me to but that will never happen.

So why do these people feel the need to attack? Because they cant handle the truth. Alas Im right and they hate it being pointed out. Im no diplomat sorry (and I mean sorry as I can apologise) If they want to alter thier voices, that fine, go do it. not my issue but the truth and reality is they are not being who they are but conforming to societies expectations. They are decieving and lying. Becoming a sterotypical woman.

It's the same for the Trans who have the extra and are in a relationship with a woman. If they are using the extra as a male, then they arent being as female as they possibly can be and are still men. (Supported medically) The partner isnt a lesbian either as she is in a relationship with a man. Its a fact of life, the truth and reality.

When I point out that TG groups arent supportive of TS its truth and reality. Where was the support for the TS over the SHCFP? One made a comment to help them get an interview with the MoH but weeks later, nothing has been done. She wanted the three who went public to contact her yet she was fully able to contact them. They have had a wee chat apparently but its gone under the carpet and forgotten. TG groups arent interested in TS issues. Truth and reality - fact.

When I made posts elsewhere about premarin vs progynova and how I found Progynova disasterous. Asked questions as why does our Pharmac have the right to limit us to basically only one hormone, Im put down for my ethics and the way the horses are treated. By someone who may not eat battery eggs or caged pork but is happy to raise pigs and kill them and wears leather.

Ive made posts about the TG community being too diverse and am labelled a separatist. Even tho while advocating the need for TS to separate away from the TG community, I have still advocated we need to support each other. Is that ever seen? No, just the TG would rather issolate TS separatists and ignore them. isolate and send to coventry. Alas we are too diverse - reality and truth supported by others.

"...supposedly supports all those on the magical gender spectrum however when those of us at the right of center have the temerity to question or even worse have a differing opinion all hell breaks loose and out comes the un safe / hurt card."

People dont like the truth and reality but prefer to live in Lala land. They scream 'unsafe space' accuse of threats of violence, transphobia, "i think we need to be a bit gentle and caring with each other".  Here is a blankie. I think alot need a bit of reality. How are these people ever going to cope in the real world when they cant cope in a chat room sitting at the other end of the country, often with no names or anything to identify them? Making false accussations.

So to protect them, the mature TS needs to STFU, be stifled and suppressed for expressing opinions that can open their eyes. Some of these mature TS need help and support at times also but no way can they go to these groups seeking it because they have been forced into submission and left.

TBH I tolerate TG who are non TS but more and more I am seeing the need to move away from TG. I help and support alot of TS and will continue to. I stand up for TS with Gvt Depts. I will speak up and question. I really am not interested if the non TS TG like it or not. I will support them when needed even if they wont support TS. They can fight their battles but I cant see them getting far as I dont believe those who matter can take them seriously when they act like children.

The TG groups here in NZ are splintering apart. Its a shame as they need to unifying but alas we are back to where they are all bitching amongest themselves and only consider a sector of the TG community, not all.

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1 Comment

Reply Lauryn
4:09 PM on June 28, 2012 
Hey Storm, could you please direct me to the 'voice' thread which you refer to where you say you were attacked?

Just around that... just from reading this post here, I note that in your defense you say that you just put forward your opinion, but then you present it as truth/reality... when you present something as truth, reality and/or fact you move outside the realm of simple opinion and into the realm of telling people how it is, and accordingly you must expect to be challenged on it by people with a different perception of truth/reality. There is a somewhat blurry line between being challenged on something which you present as truth/fact & reality and being attacked hun.... it all comes down to personal perception.

While I'm here I'd like to challenge the 'truth'/'reality' of what you say around people who try to make their voice sound more feminine, or more specifically where you draw the line between expressing who you are and lying/deceiving people;
I have to say that I find the inconsistency/paradox of someone who believes strictly in the male/female binary, has surgery to change their sexual equipment, wears female attire, feminine wigs & make up etc to express which of the binary genders they are, but opines that changing their voice to be more congruent with the rest of their feminine expression to be deceptive rather amusing... and pretty much parallels someone who "may not eat battery eggs or caged pork but is happy to raise pigs and kill them and wears leather."

I'm not attacking you Storm, as I have had these 'conversations' around where to draw the line between honestly being 'who I am' and 'lying' in order to "conform to society's expectations" myself, but I am challenging where you have apparently drawn the line.

AS far as I'm concerned, altering any part of my body & appearance deviates from 'who I am' as a composite being... I was 'made' a certain way, [girl on the inside & boy on the outside], so anything I choose to change on the outside is a deviation from who I am, and if I am totally honest with myself, those changes are all influenced by what a binary-based society expects of me as a female & what I have been brain-washed into expecting of myself in order to present on the outside how I feel on the inside... but it is a choice I have made in order to feel more 'whole' as a female, and once I crossed that line I can find no justification for drawing another arbitrary line between this 'modification' and that modification... they are all deviations from they way I was made.

In a sense I have already 'prostituted' myself to conform to my social gender conditioning he minute I started HRT, and anything more which I do to reinforce or accentuate my external feminisation is only an issue of degree... and to stop at changing my voice [if I can] after all the other modifications I've done & plan to do seems a bit half-arsed in my opinion, and I didn't put this off for forty odd years and relocate my entire life to be half-arsed about it.

The title of your post is "I hate being right" which in itself challenges your own assertion that you were merely expressing an opinion... opinions are just that, and are neither 'right' nor 'wrong' I think what you have run up against [once again] hun is presenting your opinions as 'truth' & 'reality' to give them more credibility... that's always a slippery slope sweetie.

Be well sister.